Happy Thanksgiving!

We had an awesome day just the three of us. We made yummy food sang and danced and played games. Just what we needed to feed our bodies and souls. And my little darling gave me lots to be thankful for. I don't know if I should admit it yet for fear to jinx it but my girl wore panties all day today without a single accident. Not only that but she had no need for treats after using the potty.

Stuey also felt rather sleepy after his Thanksgiving treats.

That looks pretty yummy!

Lily could not get enough of the marshmellow yams.

This is her super full tummy. The picture does not do it justice.
Fun on the kitchen floor.

We had a little photo shoot her are some of the out takes. I love this one.

I wish this didn't turn out blury but our camera isn't made for a wiggle worm. She was super cooperative during the picture taking extravaganza cause I told her she could have a lollipop when we were done. She calls them Lilypops which is funny cause she calls herself wiwy but Lilypop comes out clear as day.

Hope you all had as much fun as we did!

Thankful

I have been muling this thanksgiving post in my head for several weeks months. I am not really sure. This day of thanks has been hanging over me. This was my due date. It is like a dark cloud looming overhead. I know it's there sometimes I want to choke the words out scream them. It was supposed to all be different I am supposed to be the stuffed turkey this year. Truth be told I don't want to spend my day thinking and clinging to this. Lucy was lost a while ago and I have come to accept this fact. I have come to accept my place as a mother to an only child. The best gift a mother could have the only gift that is really needed. But even still this day feels like it needs to be commemorated somehow but how I do not know. I feel like I should be doing something to honor my angel baby on the day that she should be fighting to enter this world but I do not know how one is supposed to honor or commemorate someone that wasn't. Peter Lily and I are going to spend a quiet day just the three of us. And maybe that is enough. Maybe it is enough that I give thanks today for the family I do have and not cling to the one that could have been.


This year has been one of the most difficult years of my life. When I think of all I do have it makes my difficulties seem so minor and pale in comparison to the things that are happening to people all around the world. So as I speak to my hardships know that I know they could be much worse. This year I lost two things very dear to me. The first was my status as a homeowner. The stability of owning ones home is something maybe you don't think about until you have lost it. Or perhaps I didn't think about it and that is why it is lost. I am not blaming or asking for sympathy I am not asking for a government bailout or a handout. I made financial mistakes that cost me dearly. So you pick up and move on. I have learned a valuable lesson the very hard way. The loss of Luciana is something that I had no control over. Losing my home I can prevent in the future if I am ever to become the lucky owner of a home again. But the other loss there will be no cure for in the future. No amount of smarts could have prevented it. This brings both comfort and sadness. Comfort in knowing that I was not the direct cause and sadness in knowing it is the end of my battle with infertility.


So I will be happy to see this year come to a close. I will be happy to end the doom and gloom of 2008. I will be happy to shed my 33 year and grow a year older. So even though I am complaining and venting in my thanksgiving post I know what I do have and that is why this thanksgiving is particularly special. I am even more thankful for the roof over my head. I am even more thankful for the husband who loves me. The child I have the priveledge of raising. I am thankful for my infertility without it there would be no Lily under my roof. I am thankful for the food on my table, the ability to help provide for my family. A year of hardship brings lessons I am thankful for these lessons. I am thankful to know I am strong. I am thankful to know I have someone to catch me in moments of weakness. I am thankful for my job and the sweet class I have this year. So even with sadness and tragic loss I am a happy woman. I am thankful for my happiness. There is much to be thankful for in this world. It is what keeps me centered keeps me moving forward keeps me from slipping into the depression that could have been. I am thankful for knowing that whatever life throws my way there will always be things to be thankful for. I am thankful for that knowledge.



So Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and family. This is the year I got to discover what being thankful is really all about. Thank you Lucy for making your mommy strong and thankful. I will be looking up at the stars on Thanksgiving night, I know you will be winking down at me. I will certainly be winking up at you.

Information

I was watching Oprah for those of you that know me I know gasp! But she had a segment on a company called 23 and me. They send you a kit to swab your mouth and they do genetic testing to find your ancestery and health traits. I have read many articles on adoptees as well as children of sperm donors who find it unnerving that they do not know their medical history. I am very happy that there is a way to unlock this mystery for a mere $399. I don't plan on doing this for Lily but am very excited that she will be able to make this decision for herself and now that it is here in cyberspace I wont forget about it.

FFF for crying out loud!

Why can I not have my way all the time!
Who are you people to tell me what to do. I am 3 after all!
The theme this week is some sad faces. I haven't participated in awhile but when I saw this shot I knew I would just have to post it. On a side note when she found that I was taking pictures she stopped her tantrum to ask to see it and after I showed it to her she would pick up where she left off. It only made her more upset that I found this to be amusing. And I think she is making this face because you don't get a treat when you pretend to go potty on the potty. Oh, the drama I tell you, the drama.

To see some more sad and adorable faces go to kiss the frog 4 me.

12 Days of Christmas

I would like to publicly humiliate whomever is responsible for this particular christmas tale. I have to sing this sesame delight a minimum of 3 times a night. Do you know how freakin' long the 12 days of christmas is. It is doubly long when it is the 12 monsters of christmas.She is worth every line in that book I tell you.
Every line!

Lazy weekend fun

Mommy and Lily self portraitMy daddy is super talented he made me a man with my new birthday blocks.

This is my totally awesome thomas shirt. I put it on the minute I get home. If it is not clean I can throw one great temper tantrum. That darn mommy gives me time out. She obviously doesn't know how important it is to be stylin'. I sure hope Santa finds me another one.

Didn't ya know I'm a poser.

Proud

Okay three posts in one day what gives? I just watched the acceptance speech of our new president and cried four days later than most of you. I am proud to have a president Obama. He may not do all the things we hope for. But just being elected has broken so many boundries. My daughter will never remember a day when a black man wasn't president. That my friends is profound. She, in our new America can become anything she wants. Thank you Obama for giving us all an America to be proud of. I saw this quote on a blog I frequent and just had to post it here too.

Rosa sat so Martin could walk,

Martin walked so Barack could run,

Barack ran so our children can fly.

Today in this America, my dearest beetle bop, anything is possible. Set your goals high so I can watch you fly!

A mothers desperation

Okay so I have reached a new point of desperation when it comes to potty training. On Thursday Lily went Potty on the potty at Miss Wendy's house. Can I hear a big WAHOOOOOOOOOOO! So now I at least know that she is aware that it is more than just her singing spot. Today I let her pick out her own pull ups and panties all on her own. I knew what the result would be. I offered up nice respectable girlie panties and princess pull ups. As you can see my desires were vetoed and here is the result.

And yes the pink fluffy background is all about me.

WEIRDO

So I was tagged by my friend Ruthie at Gods Precious Child. I am to list 7 weird facts about myself. I have a new computer and it has windows vista (uggg) I don't know how to cut and paste so this is my version of the directions :)

1. I really like the smell of gasoline.

2. My pinkies both grew out crooked. It is a inherited thing. I used to play the flute and I had trouble reaching the last keys. My mom took me to the doctor and he offered to break and reset them. UMMM no thanks.

3. I am not really good at riding a bike. I thought in college I could be one of the cool kids who rode their bikes to school. I was almost hit by several cars and turned around and walked it back home. I love seeing families riding bikes together. I will not be one of them. Coordination was not a gift I was given.

4. I took a stamp class for a year. I bought all kinds of wonderful gagets and goodies. They are all still in their packages. Although I learned many wonderful ways to use them I prefer my blog.

5. I don't like bodily fluids. I know not really weird, who does, but when my husband wants to really bother me he licks me and then holds down my arms so I can't wipe it off. Pure torture I tell you. I think this comes from the fact that my older brother used to sit on top of me and let spit dangle from his mouth until it was almost touching me and then suck it back up. Yes. disgusting ,perhaps Lily is lucky to be an only child.

6. I simply can not turn off lights or put the toilet paper on the roll. This drove my parents nuts and now my husband is not so enamored. Seriously it is some sort of disease. I don't mean to do it I swear!

7. I wake up at 3am every morning. Check the time stamp. I stay awake for about an hour and then go back to sleep. No idea what wakes me or why but it is an excellent time for blogger catch up :)

Oh and Ruthie I now have the follower button on my blog! I best have at least one follower. I love that feature.

Above average!

I am one happy mama. When Lily came home from Guatemala she was in the 5th percentile. When she turned 2 she was at the 25th percentile. And now folks you just won't believe it she has made it to the 58th percentile. Your eyes do not decieve you my Guatemalan princess in above average!

Guatemala Get Together!

So all you East coast peeps whom I have been stalking your blogs, you have all inspired me to have a Guatemala get together. You all seem to get together often. The weather worked against me and it rained so the event had to be moved from a park to my house. I am not a social butterfly putting together an event is way out of my character, but I think it is important to keep Lily connected to other children who share her heritage. I am so happy that I did it and hope to get together again. Here are some pictures of the sweet Guatemalan friends in my area. As you can see the train table was a hit!

Chase and Lily waited in Guatemala during the same time period. They both turned 3 recently. Wish you could see his cute face but he is way too quick. This is Maya. Her mommies blog is one I frequent often nice to meet them in person. Hopefully we will get to enjoy a sunny park day soon.
This is a familiar sweet face so glad our friend Sofia could join us. Seriously she is a Guatemodel in the making.

This is Oscar he is way too cute and Barack Obama held him in his arms. He is famous ya know.

Almost captured a shot of my girls future husband. Just kiddin but he would be a catch!

And here is the best shot of sassy pants that I could get today. She shared her toys pretty well had a few meltdowns but all in all I think she did pretty good for an only child.

See I wasn't kidding Oscar is famous. Here he is with the next, fingers crossed, president of the United States.

Halloween Fun

We had a wonderful time Halloween Night. Lily got it this year. At first she was really scared. So scared she was shaking, but.............. candy is pretty enticing and she went from clinging tightly to Nonnie and Papa to holding a hand to just plain running up and knocking on doors all by herself. Ava was a great helper and showed Lily the ropes. I don't think we will ever have a reluctant Trick or Treater again.

Must have a full tummy in order to build up energy for tricks and treats.This is one scary vampire princess.

One pretty stargazer Lily.

The Girls. We started Halloween at Ava's school carnival.

Ava showing Lily the ropes.

Okay this is fun!

After each stop Lily had to show us all what she got.

I love these shots. A little help from Nonnie.

A little help from Papa.

Trick or Treat!

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh, oh my, you are one scary vampire princess!

My bags getting heavy.

Can't go without some ruffle butt.

Just too sweet and sassy.

The gang, Zane, Lily, Isaac, and Ava.Lily helping Nonnie open presents. Happy Birthday Nonnie!