Every year at this time I feel like I'm sinking instead of swimming.
At work everything is coming to a close.
Open house is a few weeks away.
Report cards are coming.
Testing has not been started.
The little ones are becoming restless etc. etc....
Every year at this time my own stress triggers something in Lily.
She becomes aggressive and tantrums alot.
Last week she repeatedly overturned her time out chair
smacked scratched hit and tried to bite me.
When she was done with her tantrum she sat in my lap and sobbed.
Which I didn't have time for cause I had to be at work.
I held her for sometime but my eyes were on the clock.
She went to school in half of her pajamas and her hair was undone.
Once I dropped her off I cried the rest of the way to work.
Is she having adoption related stress or is she just being a kid.
I wish she could tell me.
Lily has not warmed up to school in 2 years.
I have felt that it is in her best interest to be made to go.
But I'm always left wondering why she doesn't care for it.
What I do know is she is a control freak.
She does not like others telling her what to do.
She does not like people in her space.
These are all things that she needs to come to terms with
When I dropped her off at school the terrible tantrum morning
She hit her teacher and made contact.
She's never wanted to say hello to her teacher.
She has always grunted at her and I've felt at a loss as to what to do.
Hitting her was the last straw.
I pulled her out of school a month early.
I thought that this would cure some of our morning drama.
Give me some peace.
But.....
well you probably know it didn't
Tuesday I was trying to get her in the car.
She was hungry but wanted nothing I had to offer.
She decided she wanted some cheese.
To which she crumbled it up and threw it on our porch.
I picked her up put her in the car and she screamed kicked and thrashed her body
the entire half hour
to my moms.
So like I said I could use a break
so today I have some sort of crappy illness
Not exactly the break I was looking for.
Fever, chills, sore throat.
I tried to go to work but my good friend made me go home.
She and Mary took my class
Thank you
It's a small break and I'll take it.
Just in case you thought it was all roses over here!
6 comments:
I'm hugging you right now...in my mind at least. I hope you feel better soon. Take good care of yourself. Our girls are feisty little things...in the long run that will be what makes them strong women. This is what I repeat to myself several times a day :)
Is this an annivesary period of something in her adoption story? We have pretty bad annivesary triggers over here and I can coung Jan - Feb out as being bad due to that.
so sorry that is really tough. I would guess too the she triggers off of you and can feel your stress. I never would have thoguth it but while still in Guatemala, Maya was just 1 year old, both of my roommates finally got to go home, I was moving to another place and I was so stressed and angry and very bitter becasue I swear we were never getting out of there, and my sweet sweet child who was typically always friendly to everyone and smiley and the best anp taker and sleeper changed. She started screaming when she was suppose to be napping and would not let anyone even look at her, she was very hateful towards everyone. Once I calmed down it took about 1 month but then she also was fine. I was scared that it was the change to moving but when we came home she was just happy like normal, so I would definetly say it was me and my anger that caused her dehavior, nto that it was directed at her but she still felt it in me.
so maybe your stress of the end of the year plays a part in it as well. I am not one for early education myself so a preschool coop is more for me when they are 4 years and then kidergarden. Maybe this summer you can find some playgroups ro firned that are her age and just a few of them for her to mabye enjoy beign with, or mabye your mom would be willing to go to a small group co op so that mabye she will like school, its awful that she hates it already, I mean I like it then but after that I found it to be a wasted of my day, other then the socilaizing (really I went and have my BA its just that it was mainly a bunch of hoops to jump thru with immature kids so I didn't like it, I had my horses at home waiting for me).
Good Luck!
(((hugs))). we all have these times in our parenting when our child just doesn't cooperate with our schedule! It happens here too. A child needs a parent who sets boundaries. I try to keep focused on that concept, and require my daughter to stay within boundaries -- whether that is getting in the car and cooperating with dressing for school, or eating breakfast (limiting the menu during the week, and allowing more flexibility on weekends) or picking up her toys. It doesn't always work here either. if that makes you feel any better. I hope you take care and feel better soon, and know we're out here !
This sounds exactly like my guatetot twins . They hit teacher , throw fits etc..(they are also 4 1/2) I could have wrote this post myself. What is it ? Mine were adopted at 5 months old so I question whether it could be that ?? Wish I had advice but I am looking for some myself . If you ever want to chat you can email me katiemnyblom@gmail.com
Hi Sarah~
I'm so sorry I didn't see this post until now. I saw your message to Katie on FB and thought, "Crap, did I miss something big?"
I'm sorry for what you have been experiencing with little Lily Pie. Or should I say Sassy Pants!
I hope it is just a phase and she gets through it soon!
I'm sorry, I don't have any advice what so ever. I just wanted you to know I care :o)
Love,
Jen
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