I am so very proud of this child. This year is full of ups and downs.
Unfortunately some adult problems affected my baby girl.
We never want to be the cause of our child's pain but I think this has been a blessing in disguise. I am not happy that she had to go through anything that caused her to feel unsafe, but sometimes us mama's need to be wacked upside the head to see what has been lying in front of us the whole time. I've read lots of books on adoption. Read lot's of very smart people discuss the topics of attachment, but always thought to myself that does not sound like my child.
She is SO attached to me it is impossible.
Turned a blind eye to every sign. Told myself her shy timid personality was just her.
Told myself it was not based of fear or flight.
Then our adult problems happened and it was clear
CRYSTAL CLEAR
The piece of the puzzle that didn't ever quite make sense.
The piece I tried to bang in place
is attachment related.
Her beginnings matter.
All children's beginnings matter!
I would have told you I knew this before
but my knowledge was born in the seeds of denial.
We now have an amazing therapist and we are headed
in the right direction.
My girl is working hard.
The best thing about acceptance is that now
healing can begin.
It hurts me to know that I am not in control
of her healing.
It hurts me to know that the path to healing is hers,
I can not fix it, no one can.
It is a hard thing for any parent to accept.
Acceptance may have come late in the game for me.
But I'm proud of my girl for coming so far in such a short time.
She is simply amazing!
So onto a bit of a brighter post.
We spent forever family day
in Lily's favorite spot,
Santa Cruz.
It was cloudy and cold and just perfect.
We went to the boardwalk played some carnival games
rode a ride.
Then we opted for a warmer location and did some bowling.
Lily is quite the competitive little bowler.
Making the shot.....
Come on, come on, come on........
Oh yeah baby,
That's right!!!
Back to the Boardwalk
Stinky Feet
seriously, the only reason, we are here!
The next day we headed to the aquarium.
Then out to the tide pools,
Perfection!
Thank you Lilyana for picking the perfect place.
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