Forever Family Day #7

I am so very proud of this child.  This year is full of ups and downs.

  Unfortunately some adult problems affected my baby girl. 

We never want to be the cause of our child's pain but I think this has been a blessing in disguise.  I am not happy that she had to go through anything that caused her to feel unsafe, but sometimes us mama's need to be wacked upside the head to see what has been lying in front of us the whole time.  I've read lots of books on adoption.  Read lot's of very smart people discuss the topics of attachment, but always thought to myself that does not sound like my child. 

 She is SO attached to me it is impossible. 

Turned a blind eye to every sign.  Told myself her shy timid personality was just her.

Told myself it was not based of fear or flight.

Then our adult problems happened and it was clear

CRYSTAL CLEAR

The piece of the puzzle that didn't ever quite make sense.

The piece I tried to bang in place

is attachment related.

Her beginnings matter.

All children's beginnings matter!

I would have told you I knew this before

 but my knowledge was born in the seeds of denial.

We now have an amazing therapist and we are headed

in the right direction.

My girl is working hard.

The best thing about acceptance is that now

healing can begin.

It hurts me to know that I am not in control

of her healing.

It hurts me to know that the path to healing is hers,

I can not fix it, no one can.

It is a hard thing for any parent to accept.

Acceptance may have come late in the game for me.

But I'm proud of my girl for coming so far in such a short time.

She is simply amazing!

 

 

So onto a bit of a brighter post.

We spent forever family day

in Lily's favorite spot,

Santa Cruz.

It was cloudy and cold and just perfect.

We went to the boardwalk played some carnival games

rode a ride.

 

Then we opted for a warmer location and did some bowling.

Lily is quite the competitive little bowler.

Making the shot.....



 

 Come on, come on, come on........

 Oh yeah baby,

 

That's right!!!

Back to the Boardwalk

Stinky Feet

seriously, the only reason, we are here!



 

The next day we headed to the aquarium.

 Then out to the tide pools,

Perfection!

Thank you Lilyana for picking the perfect place.

park day and Easter too

 When my friend Monica got pregnant I hoped she would have a girl.  I envisioned my girl having a little cousin.  Monica and Kaya are the family of my choosing.  Sometimes this is the best kind of family.  I got my wish and a girl was born.  At first Lily was so JEALOUS!!  How dare I think a little tiny being was cute.  How dare I snuggle and hug another!!  Now that Kaya is a bit older Lily has found the pleasure in her wee cousin.  My heart soars to watch these two together.  My wish was granted.

 She

 is such

 a doll!!

 We had a great Easter.

We started out with our annual

Easter basket treasure hunt.

 Then we went to our friend Jake's house

for a little brunch and an Easter Egg Hunt.

These are some other peeps I will put

in my family of choosing.  I am so

lucky to have them!

 Then we went to Nonnie and Papa's house

 for some dinner and one last hunt.

It was a great day!

Disneyland

Disneyland was so much fun!

Lily wasn't thrilled about going.

Terrified is more like it.

One minute she would be excited to meet Mater

and the Princess' and the next minute she'd tell me

she'd like to rip up her ticket.

Lily hates dressed up characters,

She says that their big heads are scary.

She hates trying new things.

The morning she woke up excited then as we approached the parking garage.

She had a melt down.

I had to carry her occasionally kicking and screaming towards the gates.

I thought, well this should be fun.

I wondered if I should have just listened to her.

I'm certainly glad I didn't.

She had a blast.

We did however have 3 unfortunate encounters with the

scary big headed characters.

ie.. Mickey, goofy, and Donald Duck.

She is NOT kidding she is terrified.

Donald Duck crossed our path and she turned around

screamed and ran in the other direction.

I'm sure it sounds amusing, but

her mother was not amused.

She still insists that she does not like Disneyland.

I'll let you decide for yourself.

I'm sure you'll find she didn't have an ounce of fun.

 

Our first day we spent at California adventure.

Cars land is awesome.

I am very proud of my girl for

overcoming her fears and trying new things.

She tried rides I thought she never would.

She even put her hands up on the

very fast Cars ride. 

She screamed and giggled the whole way!

 

 

 Family of hillbillies!

Mater teeth,

my favorite purchase!

 Like I said no fun AT ALL!

 

 

Day 2

Disneyland

We dressed in our finest to have a princess makeover

and added some wings for good measure.

Before our royal make over

We had time to ride the tea cups

and meet Merida.





 We showed Merida some karate moves.

It was darling.

I didn't capture a great picture of it

but,

She was asked what her fairy talent was

and she said Karate.

Merida said they didn't have karate in Scotland

and asked if Lily would show her some moves.

Precious!

 I'm not much for kids in make up

but,

This made my girl happy.

They were supposed to put her hair in a bun

and she was supposed to bring a princess dress.

In true Lily form she did things her own way.

She picked her twirly skirt and wanted her hair

in her signature pony.

I love that she has her own style!

 Waiting and waiting and waiting to

finally meet Tink!

 

Vidia was there.

She knows her part!

 

At the Bibity Bobity Boutique

there was every kind of princess paraphernalia imaginable.

My girl chose a sword.

ON GUARD.

I love her.

 

Day 3

We started off our day with breakfast with

the Princess'.

I didn't get great pictures.

I sure wish I had tried harder.

After I got the bill I wanted to call them all back to our table

and make them give us more attention!

I'm glad we did it once, but

wow Disney really?!?

 When she met Tiana Lily said,

Mommy she has brown skin just like me

isn't she beautiful.

Yes, baby girl, and so are you!

Thank you Disney for giving my girl

a Princess she can identify with.

 Lily loved the bumper cars.

Really she loved anything where she got to drive.

She is actually a great driver.

 

We had a very lucky impromptu

encounter with Jasmine.

We just walked up to her and got our picture taken.

No line.

 

 

couldn't go to Disney without a little

face painting.

 

And that is a wrap.

I loved spending this time with my girl.

I am so happy my parents shared this

experience with us.

Disney is full of magic and wonder

and so is my girl!