Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Forever Family Day #7

I am so very proud of this child.  This year is full of ups and downs.
  Unfortunately some adult problems affected my baby girl. 
We never want to be the cause of our child's pain but I think this has been a blessing in disguise.  I am not happy that she had to go through anything that caused her to feel unsafe, but sometimes us mama's need to be wacked upside the head to see what has been lying in front of us the whole time.  I've read lots of books on adoption.  Read lot's of very smart people discuss the topics of attachment, but always thought to myself that does not sound like my child. 
 She is SO attached to me it is impossible. 
Turned a blind eye to every sign.  Told myself her shy timid personality was just her.
Told myself it was not based of fear or flight.
Then our adult problems happened and it was clear
The piece of the puzzle that didn't ever quite make sense.
The piece I tried to bang in place
is attachment related.
Her beginnings matter.
All children's beginnings matter!
I would have told you I knew this before
 but my knowledge was born in the seeds of denial.
We now have an amazing therapist and we are headed
in the right direction.
My girl is working hard.
The best thing about acceptance is that now
healing can begin.
It hurts me to know that I am not in control
of her healing.
It hurts me to know that the path to healing is hers,
I can not fix it, no one can.
It is a hard thing for any parent to accept.
Acceptance may have come late in the game for me.
But I'm proud of my girl for coming so far in such a short time.
She is simply amazing!
So onto a bit of a brighter post.
We spent forever family day
in Lily's favorite spot,
Santa Cruz.
It was cloudy and cold and just perfect.
We went to the boardwalk played some carnival games
rode a ride.

Then we opted for a warmer location and did some bowling.
Lily is quite the competitive little bowler.
Making the shot.....

 Come on, come on, come on........

 Oh yeah baby,
That's right!!!

Back to the Boardwalk
Stinky Feet
seriously, the only reason, we are here!

The next day we headed to the aquarium.

 Then out to the tide pools,

Thank you Lilyana for picking the perfect place.

park day and Easter too

 When my friend Monica got pregnant I hoped she would have a girl.  I envisioned my girl having a little cousin.  Monica and Kaya are the family of my choosing.  Sometimes this is the best kind of family.  I got my wish and a girl was born.  At first Lily was so JEALOUS!!  How dare I think a little tiny being was cute.  How dare I snuggle and hug another!!  Now that Kaya is a bit older Lily has found the pleasure in her wee cousin.  My heart soars to watch these two together.  My wish was granted.
 is such
 a doll!!

 We had a great Easter.
We started out with our annual
Easter basket treasure hunt.

 Then we went to our friend Jake's house
for a little brunch and an Easter Egg Hunt.
These are some other peeps I will put
in my family of choosing.  I am so
lucky to have them!

 Then we went to Nonnie and Papa's house
 for some dinner and one last hunt.
It was a great day!